


Through The Looking Glass

by justsimplymeagain



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Because I love that theme, Carl is a Savior, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rick is a Savior, The second relationship is only secondary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-10-23 20:12:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10726386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsimplymeagain/pseuds/justsimplymeagain
Summary: Rick Grimes was one man no one probably expected to see tonight. But here he was, his presence, however, was not as all consuming as the man Rick came with. A thousand questions and accusations could be read in the eyes of everyone on their knees, though most knew him only briefly and some knew him his whole life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have another Rick is a Savior themed story on the go, but I couldn't help myself.

Rick Grimes was one man no one probably expected to see tonight. But here he was, his presence, however, was not as all-consuming as the man Rick came with. A thousand questions and accusations could be read in the eyes of everyone on their knees, though most knew him only briefly and some knew him his whole life.

Up until the world ended.

“Rick? Why man?” Shane – his best friend and brother from another life. Another world. Now he was just the leader of a community that got too cocky and thought itself strong enough to take on another community. The very community Rick was a part of and had a hand in its growth from where it was to what it was now.

The Sanctuary.

But Rick wasn't the leader. He wasn't even the right-hand man. That was Simon. No, what Rick was is something else entirely. Rick was the husband, lover, and the one who protects what's left of his man. It was a bit of a journey to get to that point, and yet at the same time, it came in a blink of an eye. But going through life and death situations, both from outside forces and inside can put things into perspective. Not only that but to help the community grow larger and stronger than what it was.

It made it all too easy and Rick would kill to keep that.

Because it was his.

“Time to meet the man himself!” Simon's voice echoed, and Rick moved enough so he too could watch the RV. Watch as the man who saved Rick from the brink of insanity itself come out with a wide grin and looking like the bringer of death himself.

That grin seemed to stretch wider before saying, “Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close. It's going to be pee-pee city here real soon.”

And isn't that the truth?

_**~ Rewind back to the start ~** _

It was pure luck, but someone upstairs had some mercy on Rick. But after traveling for what felt like ages on his own, it was a relief to find some people who were friendly enough. He didn't know them, but it was a near instant connection despite how distant Rick kept himself and how distant they kept themselves.

Eventually, he learned their names were Glenn Rhee and Maggie Rhee, they made it clear in a friendly manner that they were spouses. It came from a conversation about family, Rick explained that he was still looking for his own. They asked for the names of his family so of course, he told them.

“Lori Grimes and our son Carl Grimes.” It was enough to get a reaction out of both of them, the kind that filled him with hope. That maybe, just maybe his searching has finally come to an end. On the way back to the camp he learned that his best friend Shane kept everyone safe and was responsible for getting them this far.

One thing that did bother him though was the surprise at Lori's last name being Grimes. Or that Rick was her husband, the relief he felt pushed that aside. He had to, he was going to see his family again, and that relief turned to near excitement that was hard to keep under wraps.

But he did. Up until he saw them.

A boy instantly ran up to him, taller now but Rick recognized him immediately.

“Dad!”

“Carl!”

Rick swept him into a tight hug and refused to let go, he nearly broke into tears on the spot. Here was his boy, still alive and healthy. Growing up and Rick can imagine that he might be as tall if not taller than Rick one day if he was lucky. It's something he would like to see. The next person he hugged was his wife, the relief he felt in seeing them seemed to do nothing but lift a weight from his shoulders.

They were alive.

The moment he saw Shane, Rick had to hug him as well. How could he not, the man kept everyone safe. But then again, this was Shane and from what Rick can remember. Shane can do anything.

It's why it hurt so badly when things fell apart soon after.

His wife was no longer his wife. She was Shane's.

Carl was distant from his mother and from Shane. Rick quickly welcomed the boy close to him the moment he made it clear that he wanted to be with Rick. Rick hoped that nothing happened to his boy while Rick wasn't there. Hope that fell apart as well, as a horrifying truth came after Carl wet himself at night. It was Rick who stumbled across the crying form of his son, and it was Rick who helped him clean up.

Apparently, the gang called themselves the claimers. And it was the price of getting to freedom.

All Rick could see then was red. Did Shane just turn a blind eye to it? Carl begged Rick to not say a word, to not do a thing. Clearly thinking the worst of himself. Rick spent the rest of the night reassuring him. Comforting him. By next morning Rick was no closer to calmness despite the fact that his son was curled up against his side.

It was how Shane and Lori found them.

Nothing was uttered, no doubt seeing the look on Rick's face. Shane promised to talk later, Lori refused to look at each of them.

“You're damn straight we'll talk later.” Rick silently swore as he pulled a blanket up over Carl to ensure that his boy was still warm and felt secure. By the next morning, Carl was trying to play the whole thing off, like it didn't happen. Shoulders stiff and head forced high.

“You don't have to be strong Carl, it's okay to let me be strong for you. I can be strong for you.” Rick assured, capturing his son's gaze for a moment before anger curled in his son, and naturally, he lashed out. Throwing the fact that Rick wasn't there, so he didn't have a right to talk. Rick stood and bared it all. His son apparently needed to get this out of his system.

“I'm here now Carl. I won't let nothing happen to you again. I promise.” Rick said and if his son can remember anything about before was that Rick never broke a promise to him. Rick hoped that it would carry the same weight as it once did. A moment had passed before Carl seemed to sag where he stood and nodded. Nothing more was said as Carl left his side.

Rick became aware of a few eyes on him. The ones who he stumbled across first, and another person with a crossbow. Guilt was seen in the man with the crossbow's face. It was enough to tell Rick that he was there. He knows what happened and the same anger from last night curled in Rick's stomach.

It was something he had to push down enough that he can introduce himself to that man. See what happened through his eyes. If Shane just lets Carl get hurt. Rick made himself friendly looking enough that it won't trigger a fight with someone who sounds like he was a scrapper.

“I'm Rick.” Rick introduced himself, and for a moment he thought that the man would just shrug and take off somewhere. But instead, the man's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Rick for a moment.

“Daryl.” A gruff response, apparently what he was looking for was either found, or it wasn't.

Rick nodded, filed the name away and given his memory he won't forget who this person was. Struck up a conversation, found out that Daryl used to have a brother. Though getting full sentences out of him was a bit tough. When he asked about what happened to Carl, Daryl made an excuse to leave. Guilt.

Rick felt his hands curl into fists for a moment before he loosened himself up.

“That's the most we've seen Daryl talk to anyone.” A woman, blond said. She smiled at him but was tense enough to show that she wasn't sure of Rick or if he was safe to have around. Rick was surprised though that he got that much out of Daryl who apparently wasn't much for socializing.

“I'm Andrea.” The woman – Andrea introduced herself.

“Rick. Carl's dad.” Rick answered and struck up a conversation with her as well. Learning the people here, she introduced him to others. Said they used to have a man called Dale who died at Hershel's farm, Hershel who apparently died at a prison. Maggie was apparently the last of the Greene family. Rick felt sorry for her, she didn't deserve that. No one did.

Rick turned the conversation to Shane and Lori.

“Honestly, Shane is rough around the edges. Dangerous when he gets going. Needs a few people to reign him in before that temper flares. But all in all, he's done us good.” Andrea explained as they got further into the conversation Rick found out that for a time the group was separated. It was only now that they found each other again.

They had no community or anywhere to live. Like Rick, they were always on the move.

And Rick was invited to come along, an invitation he accepted and tried for a week to get close to Shane and Lori to talk to them, but there was always someone close by. Always with them, almost like they knew. Like everyone here knew and was trying to keep Rick from them.

It was only after another night where his son had nightmares did his patience run out. Carl was stiff the next morning like he knew that he couldn't ask Rick to stay silent now.

Rick approached Shane, who was with Lori and Andrea, to Rick's right stood Daryl and two other women named Rosita Espinosa and Sasha Williams. To his left was a man named Abraham Ford with Eugene Porter and Carl. Rick was virtually surrounded, and his skin crawled with that knowledge as his mood worsened.

With a tilt of his head, he regarded his so-called best friend.

“Were you with my son, when it happened?” There was no question of what Rick meant. And what situation Rick was talking about, a few people stiffened, some showed confusion. Yet, all of them seemed to be prepared for the worst. Was that the vibe he was giving off?

“Rick -” Shane started, no doubt going to find words to try to get the situation calm. A horrible decision.

“Yes or no Shane! Were you or were you not with him?” Rick forced out, his hand falling on the handle of his red-handled machete. He heard the sound of people moving no doubt preparing to grab their own weapons. Rick pushed that aside.

“Dad?” A small shaky voice came from behind him now. Afraid and not sure what to do.

“R -” Another failed attempt made by Shane.

“Answer the damn question!” Rick forced out, it took everything in him to restrain himself.

“Yes.” Shane answered, and Rick recoiled, despite suspecting the answer he wasn't ready for it all the same. His face must have shown that, must have shown how betrayed Rick was feeling. That his best friend failed to protect his son.

Shane took the silence as his chance to speak. To try to reason with Rick. Only Rick didn't hear a word, his heart was pounding so loudly in his ears.

“You stood by -” Rick cut himself off for a moment, grasping to find a way to speak his mind. When he finally fond it, only anger remained in each word, “- you allowed this to happen? To my son! To Carl!”

“You don't understand Rick, there was nothing we could do. Look man – I would have done everything I could have if -” Shane tried, there was guilt in his eyes, but that did nothing to calm Rick down.

“If they didn't have a gun to your head? To Lori's. To Daryl's.” Rick spat out. Blame coloring his words so thoroughly that nearly everyone he mentioned flinched.

“Don't tell me you would have.” Shane's voice now reflected the lack of patience he was apparently feeling and betrayed the anger the man was starting to feel at the entire situation.

“You're damn straight I would have! I would have punched, kicked, used my teeth. Whatever it took to protect my son! Not sit by like some – some coward.” Rick snarled out, face no doubt twisted to match the rage he was feeling. However, the use of coward only seemed to start a fight. Not that Rick minded.

It took three men to pull Rick off of Shane.

Only after did he realize the only reason no one pulled the trigger was on Lori's plea. Not that it made any difference, Rick was leaving. He couldn't bare to look at any of them. Only this time Rick didn't depart alone. He took Carl with him, and Carl was happy to go with him.

The boy seemed lighter the further away they got.

 

* * *

 

Come say hi to me on Tumblr: [justsimplymeagain](http://justsimplymeagain.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

When Rick was alone, it was easier to survive. It was only himself that he had to look after, feed and provide shelter for. But now that Carl was with him, Rick had to make sure that there was somewhere safe for his son to sleep at night, that there was enough for him to eat, and that Car felt safe. As safe as he could on the road with only one person with him. But Carl never complained, never slowed Rick down or complained when he was hungry. For the most part he seemed in a decent mood, not so much in the mornings. Especially after nightmares.

But it didn't sit well with Rick.

So he did what he wasn't used to doing now, talk. He tried to figure out how things were with his son. What was going on in his head? It wasn't easy of course. And harder after Carl let something slip.

Eventually, Carl felt comfortable with Rick to talk freely.

“I swear he was crazy at times Dad, it would take Mom and Andrea to pull him aside and talk reason into him.” Carl said one day while concentrating on balancing on a railroad track as he walked beside Rick. Rick nodded, stress can do that to someone, and Carl has yet to learn that Rick wasn't the most sane person anymore. He was described as feral by someone he once traveled with. Others said he had a problem with disassociation.

Not that it mattered anymore, they were dead, and Rick was still here.

Rick had to ask one thing though.

“Did his crazy ever cause you harm?” It was a valid question, and Rick winced slightly when Carl lost his footing and just stared ahead before rubbing the back of his neck.

“No. Not like that, just gets mad and says things.” Carl said, turned to look at Rick here. Made eye contact as best that he could, and Rick was proud of him for that. His boy was a lot stronger than he apparently gives himself credit for.

“Things?” Rick wanted to know more, even though he knows it would only make him want to turn around and put a bullet into Shane's head.

“Stuff. Calls me weak, blames it on your genes. Mom gets upset when he says that, so Shane tries to make it up to me mostly for her I think.” Carl explains before adding, “But he never touched me, if that's what you mean. It was -” Carl shrugged. Rick figured the ending to that sentence went something in the line of: it was only that one time.

Just the thought of it makes Rick want to lash out. Take it out on the dead – walkers as he's come to call them recently. Either that or take it out on the next unfortunate individual who crosses Rick's path.

“It's fine Dad.”

It's not. It's really not. But what could Rick that he hasn't already said?

“Carl.” Rick called out, making his son stop walking and turn towards him, once Rick was satisfied that he had his son's attention, “I know I can't undo what's been done. And take back Shane's words. But I can promise that I would do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to go through it again. And you don't have to go through it now, I'm here.” It was the best he could offer his son, it won't change the past. But maybe it could help his son with the future. And Rick was confident that he can stop anyone from hurting his son again.

He'd kill them if they tried. Leave them as a dispatched corpse or let them turn into a walker.

A moment passed, or perhaps several. Rick couldn't tell, but he refused to break the eye contact he got from Carl as his son searched for anything that might indicate Rick was truthful or if he was deceitful. Anger curled in Rick's stomach. A familiar sensation now.

A smile, small but sincere.

“I know Dad.”

As they moved on, Rick swore the air around them was lighter and the sun shone just a bit brighter. Things might just be okay.

**_~ Fast Forward a Few Months ~_ **

The area was surrounded by walkers, a consequence of entering a city. Regardless of how small it was. It was still a city, and at one point there was a high enough population to create just enough walkers to be a problem. Which they were, and Rick with his son had the pleasure of dealing with that very problem.

They made their way up, it was the safest way at times. Walkers weren't climbers, and they weren't very good at opening doors. Something Rick was glad for. Carl was a good aim, so when he got to a higher perch, he watched Rick's back and visa versa. It goes this way until the reach the top. It wasn't a hot day so there won't be a rush to get out of the sun before it could affect them severely.

“No way down on the other side.” Carl reported as Rick found his footing on the roof. He cursed. Below him, he could hear the sound of groans and hungry gurgles as the dead pushed against each other in an attempt to reach the top. They won't make it unless they figure out how to use their hands and feet for more than just moving and ripping into whatever they're trying to eat. Human or animal alike.

Next option. Find anything that could help them get to the next building which was within ten feet. Rick wasn't sure if they could jump that far and he didn't know if he wanted to risk it.

Cursing again he told Carl to look around for boards or rope that they could use.

“For what?” Carl asked, confusion showing freely.

“To get to the other roof.” Rick answered, and Carl looked at it with a bit trepidation.

“Can we jump?” Carl asked, and Rick really didn't want that to be their only option. Rubbing his face Rick as he eyed it.

“No. We go down, see if we can get in through a window. Find a way from there.” Rick answered, it was far too risky, and neither Carl nor Rick had anything to eat for a few days. That and factor in the amount of running they already did today. Rick didn't think they would have the energy or stamina to make a jump that big. Carl nodded, he seemed to disagree but trusted Rick's decision. Looking down the fire ramp, Rick groaned lightly. They were literally piling up down there.

“Okay, I go first.” Rick stated as he moved to take the lead. The second he got to the first landing he looked through a window, it was unbroken. Carl was right behind him, asking if he saw anything. Rick didn't so he tried to open it. It was locked. Of course, it was closed. The only option was to break it. So whatever was in there, it definitely would be aware of them then.

With a hard hit using the handle of his Colt Python the glass shattered showing a very dusty apartment. Rick once again took the lead. Carefully stepping through and scanning the room. With a hand gesture, he indicated that Carl could enter, no words were needed to tell his son that he needed to be cautious. Carl knew how to survive, possibly even better now than before.

They made a sweep of the entire apartment. Nothing could be found beyond food that was so far gone it didn't even give off an odor. Nobody has been in this apartment since the world ended. And given the dust, Rick figured that was the truth.

“Okay. The hallway now.” Rick stated as he looked through the peephole only to jerk back. Carl asked with a look, so Rick mouthed 'walkers'. Carl seemed to think for a moment before whispering that they should try another floor. Rick agreed, but he'll do the checking. This apartment was clear, so he told Carl to pick a spot and hunker down while Rick went to check other floors. He'll be back. Carl didn't seem to like that very much but didn't protest. That would require making far too much noise.

Outside the walkers seemed to quieten down slightly. Up until they saw Rick. He had to move fast before they drew too much attention.

With the fact that he was alone, Rick could move faster. Find a window. Break the window, get in and look around. The first two floors he checked on his own was clear only had enough walkers in the hallway that made it too risky to use one of those doors as an exit. By the time Rick got to the third, the door was already open, and walkers were pushing against the glass. Glass that was cracked and splintering.

“Fuck.”

Only Rick wasn't fast enough, the glass shattered and Rick found himself dealing with the bruising grips of a few walkers snarling and groaning as they tried to pull themselves towards him and him towards them.

“Fuck!”

Too close and Rick was too vulnerable for the use of his ax, so his colt python would have to do. With a steady aim, Rick pulled the trigger on the closest one to him. It fell and dragged the others off of Rick. Only for him to hear a snap and then pain in his leg.

Rick couldn't focus on that too much, his son was calling for him. Carl pulled the trigger of his gun killing the second walker giving Rick enough time to pull himself up and climb as best as he could with a broken leg.

“What are you doing out here?!” Rick snapped, worried as he scanned his son over.

“I heard you yell and there was a lot of banging at the door.” Carl explained and all Rick could do was curse their luck. Eventually, they made it back to the roof, and Rick groaned at the pain. Broken legs can get you killed, can get the people you're with killed. And here he was with a broken leg and the important person in his life on top of a roof with easily a hundred walkers on the streets.

“It's going to be dark soon.” Rick said, staring up at the sky. They'll have to wait the walkers out. And see if there was a way to get down and get to a vehicle or something that has enough gas in it that Rick won't have to worry about walking anytime soon.

“Yeah.” Carl agreed, he must have read his mind because he was telling Rick about the parking lot he saw that had at least ten cars in it. They'll check there. Rick just hopes he can get there without holding Carl back. Eventually, Carl reminded Rick that he can drive, Rick taught him back when they had a car until it ran out of gas and they were forced to walk again. Carl essentially volunteered himself in going to get the car and coming back to pick Rick up.

Rick wanted to say it was too dangerous, but so was trying to walk that far with a broken leg.

“As soon as it cleared enough, I'll give you my colt python, so you don't run out of ammunition.” Rick stated, and it was hard to ignore how proud Carl seemed to feel at the fact that he was trusted to do this, and that Rick trusted him enough to rely on him for help beyond just watching each others back.

“Just be careful.” Rick stated, and Carl nodded and as soon as the streets were cleared enough, Rick had to watch with an uneasy sensation as his sun climbed down and disappeared into the night.

With a deep breath, Rick forced himself back to his feet – or foot to be more accurate. No pressure could be put on his broken leg, and that made climbing down as far as he could go without reaching the bottom was beyond stressful. Especially when he couldn't make too much noise or draw too much attention.

Once the sound of the car is heard, Rick knows he's going to have to be fast. Pain or not.

And that's just what happened as he practically dove into the back seat and Carl with white knuckles sped out of the city in an unsteady line. Rick tried to not make a sound as his leg was agitated the entire way. As soon as they were a safe distance away, Rick set himself to the task of trying to make a splint for his leg so it could remain straight.

“Next time we do this my way Carl.” Rick huffed out.

“Covering yourself with walker guts?” Carl asked, nodding his agreement though Rick saw the look of guilt.

“This isn't on you Carl. This is me getting into trouble by walkers that came through a window. Not you.” Rick stated this was a mistake, on Rick's part. He should have moved quicker, but in the end, he didn't and now he had a broken leg and Carl would have to take point until Rick could hold his own.


	3. Chapter 3

The night was dark and cold, the fire no longer provided warmth. Not with the events taking place around it. A broken car that would have provided a type of refuge when the night got too cold. Especially to Carl, Rick's one concern. And it was this fact that heightened everything for Rick in this very moment.

He was on his knees, with a gun to his head. Tightly pressed against his temple and the sound of an arrogant voice was bragging behind him.

There was two of them. If there were others, Rick couldn't see them. Wasn't looking for them. All he could see was what he promised Carl would never happen again. All he knows is that he had to fulfill that promise. No matter what.

No matter what!

The sound of his son wailing in fear as he tried to fight off the much larger man – no animal. Rick couldn't see that thing and see him as a man.

“Quit your strugglin' boy.” Laughter from the pig. Jokes on how he remembered Carl and Rick saw red. It was beyond clear that this very thing was the one who hurt his son before. Took him in a way nobody deserved to be taken, not by force and certainly not against their will.

Something that Shane just let happen! A fact that would forever enrage Rick until the day he dies.

“You leave him be.” Rick all but snarled out, forced it through the sheer rage he felt. When no one heeded this obvious warning, Rick forced himself to give another. But only one more.

“You leave him be!”

The last warning. The only warning he'll get. The only warning either of them would get before Rick threw his head back connecting it with the nose of the man – no, the pig behind him. Getting up and throwing a punch was hard when his equilibrium was thrown off by the sound of a gun by his ear.

But that didn't stop him from connecting a punch.

Only it was a weak punch causing Rick to nearly growl in frustration at himself. It was even worse as the retaliation from the pig sent Rick to the ground again, sent pain through his stomach. And despite his pain, all Rick truly wanted at this very moment was for the pig to bleed.

And the moment he was trapped in the pig's arms, Rick saw his chance. Not even bothering with the taunts the pig gave, deeming them to be nothing more than pointless squealing anyway.

Giving no reply and allowing there to be no warning Rick sunk his teeth deep into the pig's throat and ripping away it's flesh causing it to let go of him. The taste of blood filled his mouth. Disgusting but unimportant in comparison to what was happening now. What he wanted to happen now.

Spitting out what flesh and blood was in his mouth only came as an afterthought. And it was only because he zeroed in on the stunned pig in front of him. Stunned so much that it gave Carl time to escape his hold. But the crime was done, and here the pig was trying to do the same again.

“Me-mercy.” The pig pleaded. His eyes were wide with the fear he stunk of. Despite the large size of him, Rick can see that his pants were undone and that he was clearly in the process of lowering them so he could violate Carl. Rick's son!

His everything in this world!

It was this that made it impossible for Rick to hear the pig's pleading over his need to kill him.

And he did. Stabbing him over and over after he gutted him from crotch to sternum. Rick didn't stop until he was nothing more than a twitching lump of flesh cooling beneath Rick's tense form.

“Dad...”

“We gotta go... Dad.”

Go?

Where. Rick heard voices, calling out for the lump of flesh beneath him and the other one who was now missing part of his throat. There were more of them. With a sharp nod, they quickly gathered what supplies they had and ran. Rick was thankful that his leg healed up fine despite the fact that he had only a temporary cast on it. If it didn't, they would be having problems now.

Carl was a big part of why his leg healed up fine. It went to show how capable his son was. And even now, with what nearly happened to him. He was still able to get up and go. Rick didn't think Shane knew what he was talking about.

Not that he mattered now, the only thing that did was getting Carl and himself to safety. Somewhere they can rest.

Eventually, they stumbled onto a suburban area, found a house that was empty and ransacked already. No running water, not that Rick nor Carl expected any. They hid there, and Rick stayed up to keep watch as Carl tried his hardest to catch some sleep.

Only the sound of voices drew him up and towards the window.

They were followed.

“Da-”

“Shhh.” Rick hissed, not intending to be harsh, but silence was needed as he got low. Carl nodded as he took a spot on the other side of the window and cursed silently.

They were down to his python, a double barrel shotgun, one-half empty glock 22. and one machete and two axes. From the looks of it, the four people searching the houses were well armed.

Rick moved to Carl pulling him down and asking him if he recognized any of them, wanting to confirm that these were the claimers. Carl recognized two, but not the other two. They had a choice, stay where they were and hoped that the four claimers didn't find them or risk moving to another hiding spot.

In the end, they had no choice but to move. The houses on this side were being searched. No light will be used. Picking up what they could carry and leave what they won't be able to, Rick led, and Carl followed. His legs shaking, Rick can see the fear in his boy, and it made him want to kill the four people looking for them all the more.

Unfortunately, tonight luck was not on their side.

They were nearly out of the suburban area when Rick was knocked to the ground and his son grabbed from behind. The claimers caught up. And nobody was taking any chances, most likely due to the bodies that were left and the damage done to them that made it well aware of the risk Rick posed to them.

Not that they would get a chance to talk, Carl put up too much of a struggle and Rick made it difficult to be pinned down. Refusing to be kept on the ground as they took whatever chance they could get to either kill them or hurt Carl again.

Soon enough it turned out to be an all out brawl all of them doing what they can to not get shot while trying to kill each other. All the while Rick was also trying to get his son behind him. Not an easy thing to do when more than one person is attacking you and others were attacking his son.

All Rick could do was try to protect him.

Rick managed to take down one and knock another off his feet. Carl managed to kill another and looked horribly shocked when he did; it only took a moment too long to realize that the shock wasn't because he killed someone.

“Carl!”

Carl was shot. His son was hit! The shirt against his son's stomach seemed to get wetter as the seconds crawled by. Rick didn't even realize until a moment too late that the whole area was lit up by the headlights of vehicles. Rick couldn't see how many cars. It didn't matter, just what he saw in front of him did.

Just what happened to Carl mattered.

Rick's heart stopped, he could almost see the worst outcome happening. And it was the worst thing he could ever come up with, and the last thing he would ever want to happen to his boy. No, Carl deserved to live.

Carl dropped, and Rick didn't even have to think about it.

Rick made sure Carl didn't hit the ground hard. It was pavement. Pavement could cause head damage if Carl's head hit it. This was something that probably shouldn't be as big of a concern given the circumstances, but it was enough to have Rick try to protect Carl from it.

After all, he already failed to protect him from getting shot.

Seeing that red spread further on his shirt and cover his hand as he tried to stop the bleeding only sent Rick into another rage. The closest claimer to him paid the price as Rick grabbed his machete and took advantage of the man's distraction as he took out his anger on his head, chest anywhere that machete connected with. The last remaining guy took off the second the headlights turned on.

Not that it mattered to Rick at the moment.

No, the only thing that was important to Rick was his son. Something he didn't have to be reminded of as he scrambled to Carl's side once again, doing what he can to stop the bleeding. Not that Rick could do anything, he wasn't a doctor. And Carl needed a doctor. Only partially did he become aware of someone approaching and giving a whistle at the sight.

Only later would he realize that the same person approaching carried a baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped securely on the end of it.

Only later would Rick realize that this man single-handily makes a decision that saved Rick's sanity.

But at this moment all Rick could do was plead.

“M-my son...”

“P-please...”

“Carl...”

“D-don't die...”

* * *

 

Come say hi: [justsimplymeagain](http://justsimplymeagain.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have been sleeping an hour and a half ago... 
> 
> Yet here I am, typing up another chapter and dropping it here.


	4. Chapter 4

Don't die became a mantra, mixed in with pleads and the overwhelming sensation of helplessness. Rick was powerless to save his son. He didn't have the skill. He didn't have the supplies needed. Rick was barely aware of the talking above him, the sound of a rumbling truck.

The only thing that finally dragged his attention away from his son was the sight of a stretcher being set on the ground near Carl. Were they going to help? Could they help? Was there still time?

Rick looked up at the people standing there, taking them all in as he moved just enough for two people to put Carl on the stretcher. The sound of his son in pain made Rick frantic again, desperate and ready to lash out. Something he did when they moved to carry Carl away.

Rick knows that this was the best course of action, that Carl couldn't stay here. But in his mind, he couldn't let them take his son. He might never see him again! It was that same man with the bat that got in Rick's way knocking him back to the ground and hard. The handle of the bat connecting with Rick's chest and hard.

Later he'll find out that this was Negan being gentle. The man was brutal and would one day carry the reputation that could shake even the strongest to their cores.

“Carl...”

The man with the bat looked at him hard, by now almost everyone was already back in the vehicle and someone giving updates. With a nod, the man crouched down next to Rick.

“Your son's in rough shape, best not dawdle.” Was all the man said before he stood up and snapping at Rick to hurry up. Something he didn't hesitate to do. The only thing that he took with him was his colt python and his panic over Carl's state. Everything else was left behind. Including Rick's hat. But none of that mattered, not right now. Getting things and supplies can be worried over later.

Right now Rick was just hoping that he wouldn't have to put his son down before he turned into a walker.

Rick didn't know how long they drove or how far. All he knew was that it was early morning by the time the vehicle slowed as it pulled through what he assumed was a gate. Unfortunately, Carl was very pale at this point. Yelling and orders was being said, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was Carl. When the same two men who put Carl into the truck came and to get him, Rick wanted to lash out, but the man with the baseball bat must have expected that because he pulled Rick from the truck first by his collar.

“Okay, listen. This is how it's going to go. None of that feral shit, lashing out or whatever the fuck else you're going to do. Your boy's going to get the medical treatment he needs. But you gotta fucking cool it. Hard to do given the circumstances, but tough. Control yourself.” There was no room for argument. And it was clear that this was a man who was in charge. Rick was released when Carl disappeared inside the building.

When it became clear that Rick wasn't going to argue or fight, he was released, and the man entered the building. Stopping to talk to someone before going in. Rick took a moment to look around. The fence was high, and there were poles and other things that seemed to create obstacles to slow walkers down if they tried to approach the fence. Two people with guns on the roof of what apparently used to be a factory. Twenty people outside with shotguns, glocks, and pistols. Besides the two on the roof, no one had heavy weaponry. Three vehicles.

“You ready to go in?” The person, the man with the baseball bat spoke before going in himself asked, approaching Rick cautiously.

Rick didn't trust his voice, but he nodded. Following the man inside and noticing how sparse it was inside. There were about ten people inside from what he could see. The man with the baseball bat was arguing with someone who Rick will learn was called George before stalking away, clearly not getting the outcome he wanted or not accepting the repercussions of his decision to bring Rick and Carl here. Angry until he saw Rick. Detouring towards him, Rick braced for whatever this was going to be.

“Go Jeremy.” The man ordered and Jeremy did just that, no doubt wanting to deal with whatever confrontation he would be faced with for not listening.

“Name's Negan.” The man – Negan introduced himself and clearly expected Rick to do the same.

“Rick. Rick Grimes.” Rick introduced himself, frowned when his name was repeated in a slightly mocking tone before being told that Negan would take him to the infirmary. On the way there he learned that the man who was arguing with Negan didn't agree with Carl or Rick being here, wasting medical supplies on outsiders and no doubt whatever food they had left.

Rick also learned that Negan wasn't the leader of this place known as the Factory. Negan may have very well risked his skin for two outsiders he didn't know.

And Rick was grateful that he did.

“Thank you. For bringing us here.” Rick said it was all that he could say. No other words seemed to be able to make it out, Negan just nodded with a shrug and for a brief moment wanted to say something but decided not to. When they got to the infirmary, Carl was already being stitched up.

“Well, good news is he's alive. Bad news, he's lost a lot of blood, so I'm not sure if he'll make it through the night. If he does, he has a good chance at surviving. If not -” The Doctor trailed off, there was no need to say anything more, and Rick could only nod. That mantra coming back as Rick whispered into Carl's ear in between kissing his forehead. Rick pulled up a chair and made it clear that he wasn't going to leave his son's side and eventually it was only Rick and Carl in the room. By the looks of it, the medical supplies were limited as well.

By the time it as night, Rick was talking. Going over stories, almost laughing at antics that Carl did when he was a boy. The time they had a water balloon fight and Rick cheated by using a hose. How Lori tried to act annoyed and frustrated with them until she joined in.

The doctor came by every now and again to check on Carl. The person who led Rick inside – Jeremy, came with a plate of food. Sparse and near bare but Rick was grateful all the same.

“You're going to survive Carl. You know why because you're strong. Stronger than I am. You're a survivor, and you're going to beat this. What's a bullet in comparison to what you've survived so far?” Rick said, taking up his son's hand again leaving the now empty plate forgotten on the small side table to his left. By now Carl's breathing was more steady but still shallow. Whenever Rick felt himself doubting whether or not Carl was breathing, he would have to check. Check for his faint heartbeat. Check for any sign of breathing.

He'd always find what he's looking for. That in itself kept him going. It was that faint hope that maybe everything will be okay after all that chased Rick as he succumbed to his exhaustion. Using the bed as a pillow while not letting go of Carl's hand.

Hours or even minutes later, Rick couldn't tell, but that as nothing in comparison to the feeling of his hand being squeezed. It was hard not to get his hopes up, after all, there could be another outcome for that hand tightening. A worse outcome that Rick didn't even want to consider.

And thankfully he won't have to as he heard a soft, “... Dad.”

Rick found himself speechless as he openly wept in relief. His boy was alive! His son made it through the night! Nodding Rick stood up, placing a hand on the side of Carl's face.

“Carl...” It was the only word Rick could manage as he tried to find ways to reassure Carl that he was going to be okay. That they were alive. That Carl was saved and with that Rick was saved.

When Rick finally managed to function, he explained to an exhausted Carl what happened and where they were. Who put himself on the line to have them brought here. Carl didn't have much energy, so he mostly just nodded and listened and with whatever strength he had. Held onto Rick's hand.

The doctor was pleased when he came by and checked on Carl. Declaring what Rick already knew. He'll live. So long as he takes it easy, no complications should arise. There was another man who was at the door. Not pleased with Rick or Carl's presence.

“Congratulations. As soon as your son can move. You both are to leave. We could barely support ourselves here, can't have two more mouths to feed. Forty people is more than enough.” He didn't introduce himself, but he didn't have to Rick already knew he was George, the leader of this place. Rick wanted to kill him. First for the condescending tone he took, and secondly because Rick wasn't going anywhere. There was already a fence in place, and there was weapons. Some anyway. This was a place where he could keep his son safe for as long as he could.

Away from claimers. Away from other passerby's. Away from walkers.

Rick followed after him.

“You can't just make us leave. We have nowhere to go, we have noth-” Rick started, unaware that there were eyes on him.

“All the more reason why you can't stay. You have nothing. Like I-” The man said, frustration and annoyance showing on his face. Rick wanted to throw a punch, shoot or do something. But with how exhausted he was he didn't think he would have the energy to do either.

“Where would we go?!” Rick asked, frustration causing him to raise his voice. Despite his question, Rick already planned on sticking around. Maybe if he proved his worth? And in the coming days, he did just that. Gone out on scavenging runs. Watched the fence to make sure there were no walkers.

But as soon as Carl was able to move around without help. They were being told to leave. And they still had nothing. It was Negan who approached Rick as he stood with Carl.

“The man's a fucking asshole.” Negan declared, and Rick agreed. But that wasn't what Negan was here to say. For the short time he spent with the man, he got to know him well enough to know that Negan doesn't beat around the bush. He goes straight to the point, and he makes damn sure everyone else was well aware of it as well.

“You and Carl don't have fucking go anywhere. Old George, there isn't suited for being a leader. This place is big enough to support more than forty. Just have to have the right leader in charge.” There it was, and Rick knew what this was about. There were five people out there with Negan. One girl who he learned was called Arat. Rick didn't know her story, but she was fiercely loyal to Negan.

This was a declaration, and it was a bid for loyalty. For someone else to back him up.

And Rick didn't have to be told twice. Negan got Carl to safety, saved his life and in turn Rick's. Saying they didn't have to leave what looked like it could be the safest place for them to stay.

“What do you want us to do?” Rick asked he could feel Carl stirring beside him and in front of them, Negan smiled widely almost like he knew that his victory was already won.

* * *

 

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	5. Chapter 5

As it turned out, the destabilization of order that George had was already falling apart even before Rick got there. All of it happening through whispered rumours and distrust taking hold and shaping the circumstances. Creating fear in places where there wasn't any before and with that fear came a need for a strong leader. One thing George wasn't, he was close minded and distrusting, not willing to change or budge.

Rick could see why he was like that, given the world. But the cry of the few people here and the knowledge that there were others who have been turned away only seemed to make it apparent that it was time for him to go.

And Rick will help accomplish that, because between Negan and George. It was Negan who stepped up and got both Rick and Carl to safety. It was Negan who made it possible for Carl's life to be saved. And it was because of Negan that Rick was still sane because, in all honesty, he didn't know what he would do if Carl didn't survive. But it wouldn't have been pretty.

So picking sides and choosing loyalties was never easier as it was here.

When the time came, they moved quickly and harshly. Disarming those who were still loyal to George by force, breaking bones and at least once killing. The one who died met his death at the hands of Negan with the use of the barb wired bat. The bat that Rick will later learn had a name, and that name was Lucille. Rick was tempted to flinch away after the third hit. By the time Negan was finished, there was nothing left of the man's head and his point was made.

The rest of the men loyal to the old leader as well as George himself were led into the main area of the factory while Negan took his place on the higher platform. Those who aided in Negan's goals stood behind him, armed and ready to use the weapons should anyone get any bright ideas.

Rick couldn't see at this angle, but he could imagine that there was a sharp and cruel smile on Negan's face. Not directed to the ones who were neutral in all of this, but at those who were unfortunate to be under Negan's scrutiny. Below them, George and those who were left of his loyalists let out angry complaints that was silenced by one simple gesture.

A finger to Negan's lips and being shushed. As silence fell, Negan spread his arms wide letting everyone see the blood that now stained the white shirt he was currently wearing. Letting everyone see the muscles that weren't hard to identify underneath that shirt, it was clear that the man has been shaped by the world he lived in. Much like Rick. Negan was strong and he looked it. And Rick knows, that the people below can see this. It was a contrast to the thinning old man who ruled the factory, muscles fading and hair greying.

George was weakening and is weak.

It was time for someone stronger. And with the whispers that cast doubt on George being a capable leader and how swiftly Negan took control. It was clear that things were about to change around there. And Rick for one couldn't be bothered by it, not when he can provide his son a safe place to live and heal. To exist.

Setting his hand on his colt, Rick kept watch.

“Pissing your pants yet? Boy, do I get the feeling you're real fucking close. Might need depends pretty soon old man. Just so you know, and I'll put it as fucking simple as I can so everyone can understand. Even if they were fucking stupid. This is a change in command. That's what's happening right fucking now. And boy, do we fucking need it.” Negan declared, voice loud and confident. Making sure there was no chance that no one can mistake what he was saying.

“And you can do better? I highly doubt that!” George forced out before adding, “If it weren't for me you'd be dead!”

“You bet your fucking ass I do.” Negan declared equally as loud as before. And Rick believed that Negan truly believed his words. And the coming years, Negan would no doubt provide the proof that he wasn't just making false promises. Rick could see the man taking everyone else in, ignoring George for the moment. No doubt studying them. Necessitating their needs.

“Follow me. Work for me and we will survive. With me, we can provide security for others. We can bring civilization back to this world!” It was a declaration, a shot at winning everyone over and making George out to be insufficient in his role as the leader. George turned around and tried to address the people, try to turn them away from listening to Negan. Rick was ready to take his colt out and pull the trigger. Put an end to George.

A man stepped forward from the more neutral group of people – a man who Rick will later learn was named Simon. It took some courage no doubt, but the man managed to make it to the bottom of the stairs, Negan eyed him cautiously but keeping his posture as an invitation.

Time to drive the final point home. Rick knows this.

“We can provide a sanctuary for others! Like what we could have done a few days ago. Instead we fucking well left a few helpless fucking people outside of that gate as a small herd of the dead fell upon them. Letting them be torn apart! All the while listening to the screams for help.” Rick watched as people flinched at this, Negan saw it too no doubt.

“Follow me, and we won't be fucking weak anymore. We won't be scared anymore. We get to live again! Live instead of just fucking existing!” Negan added, and Rick figured it was smart because everyone was sick of being afraid. Rick has heard the complaints about their fears and Rick figures that Negan has probably heard those same complaints. Probably picked his words carefully just because of it.

In the end, twenty of the neutral people picked a side.

They didn't want to be afraid anymore.

They wanted to live.

And as Negan looked down at what remained of George and his handful of loyalists, there was triumph in Negan's posture as he declared, “We are the saviors.” This would become the official name for the people here, and the Factory would no longer be the Factory.

It would be the Sanctuary.

The Sanctuary grew and changed and become a force to recon with that few did. The fences would be kept as they were, but with the added defence of walkers to scare away those foolish enough to try and steal what they had. All the while taking in more and more people, bending them to fit the community. Acquiring a greater supply of weapons and other necessities. And soon enough, taking control over other communities.

Things were going smoothly.

Negan has remained in his position of power over these years of growth despite conflicts arising every now and again. Both from within and from outside forces. Negan over the years has grown harsher and crueller, his rules stricter and Rick remained as loyal as he did in the start. Because this was still the man who saved Carl and saved Rick's sanity. This was also the man who Rick grew close to personally. Watched as his position as the right hand man fell away to Simon as Rick became something else entirely.

Carl became one of Negan's top Saviors.

Things were going well.

Until one day Simon looked stressed and far from happy. They were having problems with another community that became known a couple of months ago. Small clashes have happened on the roads that ended with Saviors being killed. And given the grim features of Simon, Rick knows that there was more bad news coming. When the man finally made himself move, Rick had to watch as he stiffly approached Negan who was at the moment speaking with another Savior named Dwight.

Dwight was dismissed the moment Simon approached Negan. The conversation was short, and the reaction was harsh. Negan was pissed, and Simon made himself scarce afterward. Both out of fear and out of the survival instinct. It was best to let the man calm down. It was later that night that Rick learned what this was about.

An attack on one of their outposts. One that housed sixty men and Rick was the one who had to hunt down family members of those men and let the know that they weren't coming home. It was a call back to when he was a deputy sheriff in the worst ways.

Within two days it was apparent that Negan will be out for blood. More so for the audacity and loss of weapons than the loss of lives. As harsh as that may sound, Rick can understand that. It was Rick who handled the human side of things at times, that was why it was him who spoke to the families. And it will be Negan who sets an example and draws blood for what's been done.

Rick almost felt pity for those who made the mistake of crossing paths with the wrong community.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a bit short... With this chapter, I brought the story back to the present. Although there will be flashbacks and instances that show a more thorough look at some things that happened here and there.


	6. Chapter 6

_“Pissing our pants yet? Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close. It's going to be pee-pee city here real soon.”_

Rick watched as Negan surveyed the group on their knees. A grin still in it's place despite the anger Rick can see in his eyes. Watched as Negan zeroed in on the leader, on Shane. Rick spoke about Shane before, on a night where they had a seemingly endless supply of alcohol. They talked about a lot of things that night. Shane. Lori. The mistake they made in regards to Carl. Of Lucille and past jobs. So there was no question that Negan knew exactly who they were. Even without Rick pointing them out. Rick was pretty descriptive of what they looked like for one and another, the arrogance Shane showed when letting Savior's know exactly who made the killing.

The moment Negan moved forward, Rick knew without a doubt that tonight was going to be a long night. A brutal night and a part of Rick was grateful that he wasn't the one on his knees tonight.

“ _So._ You're Shane.” Were Negan's next words as he approached the kneeling group, effectively towering over them. If they thought they were safe before tonight, they were going to learn the harsh truth about how not safe they were. There was always someone bigger, someone worse and someone stronger than you out there. For Rick, it was Negan and luck would have it that they were on the same side.

“ _I'm_ Negan.” There must have been some realization because Lori looked like she figured something out. So did the other woman, Andrea her name was. It wouldn't be a surprise, they were all Negan of course, and it wouldn't take a genius to realize that the man towering over them was the real deal. The actual owner of that name. A small movement was the only indication of what was going to come next. The introduction of Negan's most beloved possessions.

“And _this_ , this is Lucille. And she is _awesome_.” Shane was the one who had Lucille brought within an inch of his face; the movement was sudden enough that it made the man startle and pull back. It was understandable, although she was only a bat with barb wire she was wielded in a way that makes her intimidating.

There was anger in Shane's face, no doubt feeling humiliated by his reaction especially given the amusement it caused in Negan. Rick paid closer attention to Shane, making sure he doesn't pull anything reckless. If he did, Rick had his hand on his colt python, and he was a quick draw. It won't be a kill shot, but it would cripple Shane for his effort. It will make tonight a bit harder and longer for him as well. Because the truth was Negan wouldn't go easy on someone just because they got shot. Especially when they were nothing more than a bunch of fools who were brought to their knees for an even more foolish mistake made.

A moment's pause, Negan no doubt watching to see what Shane was going to do. When nothing came of it, he continued.

“You and your gang of marry little killers killed _a lot_ of my men. A shitload more than what I'm comfortable with.” Negan stated calmly as he took everyone in, Rick surveyed everyone at the same pace and taking note of the stirring of the men behind the group on their knees. They were angry and wanted everyone dead, but no one will move without being told to from Negan first. The control the man had on everyone within and outside of his Sanctuary was firm and unyielding. Negan was speaking again, his voice giving only giving slightly to show the anger. But not enough for anyone who wasn't listening for it would catch.

Rick, on the other hand, he knows every inch of Negan. Inside and out, so every shift in body language and his words would give clues to Rick and let him react accordingly.

“You got no fucking idea how not fucking cool that shit is.” But Rick imagines Shane was going to learn, the hard way. Shane glared, and Negan smiled. Rick watched as Shane stiffened where he knelt. Lori looked concerned as did Andrea did on the other side of Shane. Everyone else looked both angry and afraid of being caught in a situation they weren't prepared for. There was another woman, one who looked pretty sick. It was enough to let Rick know why they were out here in the first place. Maggie he remembered, she and her husband were the ones who Rick stumbled across first before he was led to where his son and everyone else was.

“You see, Shane. Whatever you do... no matter fucking what... you _do not_ mess with the new world order.” Rick watched as Shane stiffened even more. Not ready to accept Negan's words, not even as Negan continued, “The new world order is this, and it's very simple, so even if you're fucking stupid... which you may very well be... you can understand it.” And that was the truth, something Shane will have to accept it.

“Give _me_ your shit, and _we_ don't kill you.” There it was. It was clear that Shane disagreed. His hands were now fists held tightly against his legs. Both Lori and Andrea looked like they wanted to grab onto Shane, no doubt to reign him in. All the while Rick hoped that he would lash out. He would learn fast and hard why rebelling and fighting against Negan was a bad idea.

“I know it's a mighty fucking big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly mother fucking will.” There was no room for debate, and there will be none to be found as Negan continued, “In fact, you're _fucked_. And you're even more fucked if you don't give me what I want.” Rick can attest to that, he and Negan has faced a situation with a small time community that refused to co-operate, and it ended badly for them. Some survivors fled to other communities while others were added to the fence that protected the Sanctuary.

“I don't _want_ to kill any of you... let me make that clear right from the get-go. I want you _working_ for me, and you can't very well do that wen you're fucking _dead_ , now can you?” This was both a lie and a twisted version of the truth. At one time it was the truth, but as time went on and Negan grew crueler towards most outside of his very small circle his thirst for bloodshed has increased as well. He still wanted to save people, but now there was only one way to do that. And that was his way and only his way.

His latest words seemed to have been the breaking point for Shane. Not able to accept how things will be now, the man lunged. Moving as to tackle Negan down but only managing to get half way before the sound of a gunshot rang out. Rick's aim was impeccable as ever, the bullet shattering Shane's kneecap causing him to collapse on the ground. There were sounds of screams, of pain and shock. And then there was the sound of laughter from Negan.

“Stupid shit like that, that doesn't fucking fly. Not with me and certainly not with my fucking badass baby Rick motherfucking Grimes!” Negan loudly declared, pointing with Lucille towards Rick as he was essentially introduced. Rick chose not to react beyond a slight tilt of his head as he stared everyone down, daring someone else to do something foolish like that. Because the next time he fires his python, it won't be to disable. It would be a kill shot, and that person will be added to the fence back at the Sanctuary as well.

Lori was pleading with Negan to tend to Shane, to stop the bleeding and Rick felt a surge of resentment, he doesn't remember a time when there was that much concern shown between himself and his ex-wife before the world ended. Just a slow increase in arguments. Even the day he was shot started off with an argument.

Eventually, she was granted it before an order was given and Shane was put back in line despite the pain in his knee. There was barely hid sounds of pain coming from him as he fought desperately from curling into a ball because of the pain.

“Anyone else who wants to pull a fucking stupid stunt like that?” Negan asked as he paced in front of the kneeling group, “What no takers?” There was the clear sound of amusement in his voice. Rick eyed them carefully, making sure they don't try to pull a stunt like Shane did. When it became clear that no one else will make a move. Negan continued, telling them exactly what was going to happen. And from where Rick stood, he watched as Negan gone through the process of seeing who will have an up close and personal introduction to Lucille and the brutality that could become a reality through her.

The redhead was chosen. His head was beaten in until there was nothing left. There was sounds of more screams, horror, and grief spread among the group.

And all this Rick watched calmly from the sideline.

 

* * *

 

 

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	7. Chapter 7

By the time it was morning, the group on their knees seemed even smaller than they did last night. Shane could barely keep himself up, and both Lori and Andrea seemed to be near desperate to help him. The others were in different states of shock some looking at the ground or the bodies of the two who were killed. The redhead and the injured one in the vest who in Rick's opinion was in desperate need of a shower as well as medical attention. Glenn looked like he was trying to inch his way to his wife, Maggie.

“Ah! Welcome to a brand new beginning you sorry shits!” Negan declared, waving Lucille around in a near erratic manner. Some of the anger that Negan had when they first arrived was gone, he was satisfied with the outcome. At least for now and the future would depend on whether or not Shane could get himself on board with how things were now. Or the consequences they already had to face tonight would be much worse in the future. Oceanside was a prime example for warnings going unheeded. It was a hard decision to dish out the final consequence of their stubbornness and unwillingness to bend.

There was a part of Rick that felt bad for the people there, but there was nothing to be done about it now, and there was certainly no going back. And Rick did try to warn them, make them see what was going to happen if they didn't bend and give what Negan wanted. The rotten fish thrown was essentially the final straw that erupted an already tense situation into a bloody mess. If the fish came from a child, Negan would have been more willing to forgive. The man did have a slight soft spot for children after all. But it came from an adult.

“We'll be back, in one week. So you better fucking well be ready to give us what we want.” Negan ordered, leaving what would happen unsaid because he knew already that everyone on their knees would probably come up with something horrible enough to fill the space. Negan walked to the point next to Rick before saying, “We'll leave you a truck to fill with all the shit you're going to find us.”

With that he kept walking to the truck, he prefers to use, and Rick followed after him. Not even casting a look back at the group on their knees. Rick got shoved in the middle, Negan preferred to sit by the window and Simon was the one driving today instead of Arat or even Dwight. To think, he should be used to sitting in the middle by now. But he wasn't, and Rick found it cramped and hotter due to the lack of air conditioning in this truck. Not that there was anything to do about it besides hoping they don't spend all day driving. A hand on his thigh pulled his attention away from staring out ahead to Negan. Lucille sat between Negan's legs on the floor, her bloodied end leaving a stain to join the others.

No words were said. Not that anything required anyway, they were all tired and no doubt by the time they get back to the Sanctuary they'll be resting and catching some sleep. Negan may pay a visit to one of his wives or drag Rick off to their bedroom. Whichever came first, and it depended on how Negan felt. Rick will check on Carl, see how he was doing in his duties of keeping track of the inventory of both food and weaponry. His job when he wasn't accompanying Negan or one of Negan's top men to another community or out on scavenging runs. The boy was raised quickly through the ranks, in part thanks to Negan's favoritism and the fact that Carl was a natural at most things around the Sanctuary and out of it. He was, after all, one of Negan's top Saviours after all. And had the reputation to back him up.

With some relief, Rick saw the Sanctuary getting closer and closer, and from here he could spot Carl who was wearing Rick's old hat, the very hat Negan rescued a week after they took over the Factory and made it into a Sanctuary. Something Negan didn't like, but couldn't complain because Carl looked badass in it as well. And that seemed to be everything with Negan at times. Still, it didn't stop him from finding a black cowboy hat for Rick to wear. Saying Sheriff's and former Sheriffs needs a cowboy hat. Rick tried to fight against it, but of course, as he suspected, he lost. That hat sometimes made it into bed with them.

Carl opened the passenger door and waited as Negan exited before attacking Rick with questions, no doubt hearing what group they were out to teach a lesson.

“Was it really Shane, and – and Mom?” Carl asked Negan watched them with a blank look before walking off. His wives tonight by the looks of it and with an inward sigh, Rick pulled Carl with him as he walked inside and to the room, they shared when Rick wasn't with Negan as he was for five of the seven days of the week.

“Yeah – Yeah it was them. They're both alive, shot Shane in the knee after he punched Negan.” Rick always opted for honesty with Carl. He couldn't make himself lie to his son, sometimes that gained him anger and rebellion and other times it was clear that Carl was older than his age and was ever so grateful for that honesty. It was evident, however, that Carl didn't know how to react to this. Despite what happened, Lori was still Carl's mother.

“Is she still -” Rick winced, of course, Carl would ask this. It was understandable, but it didn't stop the sting behind the words.

“She's alive. Healthy.” Rick chose his words carefully, leaving out how worried she was for Shane and how accusing her look as at times last night. Like Rick personally betrayed her, something that left a horrible taste of bitterness behind. Carl nodded beside him. They will say nothing else on the matter for the rest of the night, Carl will withdraw emotionally, and no doubt have an internal conversation with himself on the matter.

And that was how the rest of the day was spent, in silence. The night that followed was thick with unspoken emotion, and the sounds of the walkers on the fence were the only interruption to the silence that accompanied the tension that hung around.

By the next morning Carl was waiting for Rick to get up and only said one thing, “When you go to wherever she is, I want to come.” And with that, he left. Rick rubbed his face before pulling himself out of his bed and into the shower. He got enough sleep last night to be able to function today. Focus on young Saviors and making sure they know how to shoot straight and how to use knives and hatchets properly. None of them will be sent out of those gates without the basic knowledge of how to handle themselves and protect each other.

Negan was assigning runs, which communities will be collected from and who will do the collecting. Typically it's kept the same, to give the illusion that there was less than there was. A clever way of keeping this place guarded. They were still sixty people short, but eventually, that will be fixed as they collect other people who need shelter. Most will not complain about the point system until they learn that it could be a bit harder than they initially thought it would be. By then it would be too late. Then there was a choice, keep working for points or become a Savior and most pick the latter.

Negan approached Rick as he finished correcting a young man's posture in regards to how to swing the hatchet. A hand on his lower back and a light tug of his pants with a wide grin was enough to let him know that Negan wants to talk, the mood light between them. Whatever frustration he had, was no doubt taken care of last night. Rick wondered how long that will last when he informs him that Carl wanted to go with them to Alexandria.

A glass of whiskey was given to him the moment they made it to Negan's room.

“Badass Junior okay?” Negan cut to the chase, using Carl's nickname rather than his name. Rick nodded, yeah Carl was okay or as okay as his son can be given the situation.

“Wants to come when we go to Alexandria.” Rick explained, and immediately Negan looked a bit pensive, he won't admit to it of course, but Rick can see it and took note of it, did he expect trouble? Probably. Even if it was Carl, Negan would shut it down right then and there. He wasn't the type to put up with anything regardless of who was causing the trouble. Nobody was safe from that.

“Sure, he can come. But Rick, he better not cause a single fucking problem just cause his Mom's there.” Negan stated and there it was, the line was immediately drawn, and Carl would be put up to his first test since they arrived. Rick knew his son would pass, but it depended on Lori as well in regards to Carl's state of mind by the time they leave there. Rick nodded his understanding, and Negan leaned back, a smile back on his face.

The conversation that came next was reminiscing over what happened last night.

* * *

 

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	8. Chapter 8

The drive to their newest owned community was far from calm; there was a constant thrum of adrenaline, anger, and tension. From Negan, there was a giddiness that no doubt some of the men would feed off of. That would serve to irritate everyone within those walls, especially the survivors who were on their knees not even a week ago. Carl was in another vehicle and Rick was as he always was by Negan's side and Arat was the driver today. Negan sat by the window, leaving Rick in the middle as he normally was. Negan made a sound of amusement as the walls of Alexandria came into view and stretched wider as they drew closer, the sign was what caused Negan to burst out laughing.

“That's a fucking joke.” Negan declared after making a mockery of what the sign said.

Mercy for the lost.  
Vengeance for the plunderers.

Rick had to admit; the irony was amusing considering what they were about to do. Collect fifty percent of everything they own. And fifty percent was what Negan said fifty percent was. Rick's hand drew to his gun as he exited behind Negan, ready to fire and he knows that Arat no doubt was in the same mind frame. As always, she was fiercely loyal to Negan.

“Little pig! Little pig! Let. Me. In.” Negan loudly declared as he banged Lucille against the gate. There was no sound of movement for a good five minutes, and Rick double checked the top of the fence to see if anyone was there, standing watch. There was no one.

“Better not make me ask twice.” Negan warned amusement still in his voice but now accompanied with a hint of danger. Negan is fully prepared to take the gate down completely if he had to. They brought with them a tow truck that they could either attach to the gate and pull it down or any one of the large vehicles brought were enough to take the gate down. The walls didn't look as secure as they could have been, granted they didn't look like they'll fall easily but that was beside the point. Besides the wall, there didn't look to be sufficient means of defense. It was almost disappointing.

Carl approached his side and stood to examine the gate and walls as well.

Before Negan could get more impatient, the first gate opened revealing someone they didn't see yet. A well kept looking man who didn't look like he fit in this new world. In fact, he seemed rather pampered in comparison to how most people looked these days; even Negan didn't look pampered despite having nearly everything he could ever want and the means to get it.

“Uh? Who are you?” Rick raised an eyebrow at that. Negan knows that this man wouldn't know who he was, but that didn't stop the man from mocking the uncomfortable man through the gates until Shane showed up and ordered him to open the gates. Rick followed Negan in with Carl at his side who stiffened at the sight of Shane; there was a glare in Carl's eyes showing that the boy had hard feelings now that he had time to heal and reflect. The sense of betrayal sharper than what happened now.

Shane seemed shocked to see Carl; Rick wondered what his first thought would be at the sight of Rick's son. Well fed and safe. From one look, Rick knows that most could tell that Carl could handle himself now. And yet, Rick always falls into a habit of protecting him even when he didn't need to be protected. Blame that on his instincts as a father. Carl sometimes seems a bit put off by it; oftentimes he takes it well enough. Rick won't ever apologize for it.

Negan moved first, leading Rick and the others through the gate and Rick couldn't believe his eyes. This was not what he expected to find behind those walls. This community looked unaffected by the outside world. The real world. There were bystanders dressed as though they could drive to the store still, though the weariness spoke of the fact that they knew what the outside world was like. It didn't stop Rick from finding the place insulting.

“Hot diggity-dog!” Negan declared loudly as he took everything in, everyone was ready to spread out and start taking what was theirs to take. What was going to be theirs to take. Shane looked annoyed, and the sound of a walker seemed to draw Shane's attention, and Rick held himself in check as Negan took a minute longer to stare Shane down before taking the walker out.

Making a big thing out of it and leaving Lucille to Shane for him to carry around. Rick saw his hand tighten on the handle a light tap brought Shane's attention back to just how many people were here and he knows that the concern over the consequences was enough to force Shane to calm down. Rick moved past Shane and Carl at Rick's side.

“We're here to see Lori.” Rick stated over his shoulder. He knows that Negan took notice of that, but paid it no mind as Shane took his unwanted place at Negan's side. Negan was parading him around, showing just how much power he doesn't have and how much control Negan had over this community now.

Rick left him to it.

Carl saw his mother and brought that to Rick's attention. Rick walked with him until they came face to face with Lori and Andrea. They both glared, more so Andrea than Lori who seemed crossed between shock at the sight of Carl and anger towards Rick.

“C-Carl...” Her voice was shaky, betraying just how shocked she was. Carl stiffened at Rick's side. Now not sure of what to do or how to handle this situation. Rick had no concern of Carl failing Negan's little test, but he still worried about Carl's state of mind. Maybe he should have waited, gave Carl a longer time to get used to the idea. But if he did that, Carl would just find a way to bend the situation so that he could see her.

“Mom.”

Rick winced inward. Once upon that time, Carl's voice would have been warm and welcoming. But now there was a bitter sort of anger Rick wished his son shouldn't have to bare. Lori seemed almost tempted to approach, Andrea stopped her before she could start indicating the two Savior's close by. Watching Rick's back and watching for any sign of Carl failing the test. Of Rick being pulled along with it.

How would they handle it though, if Carl bent in favor of Lori? How would Rick handle it?

“I-I- Carl.” Lori couldn't get much out.

“Why?” Carl asked when he got no answer, but Lori was tearing up. There was anger in his posture as he stood up straighter, staring her down as he tried to force an answer silently. It was an answer he deserved to have; Rick knew this. And Carl knew this; Rick told him he deserved answers but said that there are times and situations where he won't get answers despite his wanting them. Prepare his son for that.

Just as he prepared him for the day where even Rick will die. When he won't have his family with him. Won't have Negan. Rick has to. He has to make sure Carl would be able to handle himself on that day.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry I failed to protect you. You're my baby, and I should have been able to keep you safe.” Lori's voice cracked as it gave way to tears. Carl didn't seem prepared for the tears, and a flinch told him that it was taking everything for Carl to stand where he was. To not move or show weakness and Rick put his hand on his shoulder. It wasn't weak to feel emotion, to show emotion. It wasn't his strength that Negan's watching for today.

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	9. Chapter 9

Eventually Carl moved and gave his mother a stiff hug, Rick didn't outwardly react to that. There was no crime for a son to hug his mother despite the fact that their essentially on opposite sides of this situation. Andrea looked happy at the hug, perhaps there was some hope that something could be reached between mother and son at the very least. Rick shared that hope, despite his own feelings in regards to Lori. He can't bring himself to forbid anything between the two, they're family after all and if things go well and if this community cooperates with what Negan wants and what they were trying to do. Things might just improve between mother and son.

Carl just nodded against her. Rick felt eyes on him and turned, Negan was watching the interaction with a silently seething Shane by his side. Rick made sure to make eye contact with Negan, possibly to see what was going on in the other man's head or to reassure that this was okay. Things were okay.

It was barely audible, but Rick could hear his son speak, “I forgive you, but it doesn't change what happened. Nothing will. And Dad was able to protect me. Keep me safe.” With that Carl let go of her and took his place at Rick's side. Rick looks at Carl only to see that a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Rick didn't know that Carl needed this and wished that he could have found a way for his son to get what he needed sooner.

“We done?” Carl asked looking at Rick now.

“Depends on Negan.” Rick answered, and with that, they left Lori and Andrea standing where they were. Negan seemed satisfied in what he saw as well, and Rick was happy for it. Happier still when Negan asked Carl if he was good.

“I'm good.” Was Carl's response and Rick can tell he meant it. The animosity for Shane was still present, but Rick figured that wouldn't be going away any time soon. Especially since Rick felt the same in regards to Shane. From their left, Arat approached looking annoyed. Negan took quick notice of it, and soon enough they were all in the armoury discovering that two guns were missing. So the woman in charge of inventory was now trapped at Negan's side while they waited for the guns to be found. If not, then her death would be the unfortunate consequences of those missing guns.

Negan was chatting at her happily, and Rick could tell she was petrified despite her attempts to keep up with the conversation as best that she could. Her glass of lemonade still full. Rick took pity on her and drew Negan's attention away from her. As brutal as Rick could be, he still had enough in him to pull back. Carl went with Arat to assist her.

“Nice little place, eh Rick? Imagine yourself living here?” Negan joked, leaning back in the perfect image of relaxation. Rick could see that he wasn't though, this was enemy territory, and despite his control over it, the man was still cautious. It also didn't help that he didn't have Lucille with him.

“Maybe at one point, but this here isn't the place I can picture myself.” Not now anyway, maybe before he came across Negan. But now after being with the man so long, this place felt fake and watered down. To Rick, they seemed weak and Rick didn't think he'd have the patience for him to tolerate that without clashing or forcing them to change and accept the way things were now. So perhaps it was a good thing that he came across Negan and stuck with him from the end of the Factory to the beginnings of the Sanctuary all the way to here and now.

Any further conversation was interrupted by Shane approaching with two guns in one hand and Lucille in the other. Negan smiled triumphantly. Rick dismissed the woman who he learned was named Olivia. She fled as quickly as she could.

“Why thank you Shane.” Negan patronized, Rick just shook his head slightly with mild amusement evident to see. Negan could be an ass sometimes. The rest of the pick up went fine and Shane had to accompany them to the gate, Carl was already in a vehicle ready to leave. Rick climbed into the truck first, knowing that Negan would want the window seat as usual. Negan made a move as though he was about to climb in as well, if not for the fact that Lucille was still in Shane's possession. So Negan went to go relieve him of the bat.

Of course, Negan had Shane thank him after killing a walker. Something that burned Shane intensely, despite this there was a forced thanks given. Negan entered Shane's personal space making the man twitch as though he wanted to pull away.

“Don't be ridiculous. Thank YOU!” Negan's voice carried, and Rick shook his head slightly. Watched as Negan leaned in and said something else, something that was enough to cause Shane to stiffen up and almost appear smaller than what he was. Rick will ask Negan what he said later unless the man shares with him on the way home.

Negan was chuckling as he climbed into the truck, yelling out the window as the truck started to move, “Until next time!”

The ride was silent until they reached a point and Negan told them to stop.

“How many beds did we take?” Negan asked as he watched as the trucks following stop as well.

“At least forty.” Rick answered it was all in the notebook they brought with them to record what they took and what they needed. Most of what they needed was gathered. They needed at least thirty beds for people back at the Sanctuary. If they had enough points to buy a bed. Negan nodded, asking how much did they need and Rick answered. Negan climbed out and signalled for some of his men to do the same.

“Pile a bunch of shit up, then stack ten mattresses on top, make it look like the whole collection of beds were stacked there. Then lite the fucker on fire!” Negan ordered, and Rick frowned, Negan approached the truck where Rick was sitting now in the passenger side ready to climb out as well.

“You disagree.” It was a statement.

“Might need those beds later on.” Rick stated and earned a few looks from men carrying out Negan's order without question. Something that doesn't escape Negan's attention and Rick knows that he might have crossed a line he doesn't usually cross.

“The fuck we will, and so what if we do. We'll just collect ten more beds, they got plenty left. More than what's needed for the amount of people in that community. We burn ten, we send a message with that.” Negan stated before leaning close and grabbing hold of Rick's jacket pulling Rick down enough so that they were face to face. Rick can see that Negan didn't approve of Rick disagreeing so outwardly despite the fact that not a word was said. A hard pat on Rick's cheek was enough to tell him to not do it again, Rick knows this of course. It works best when you speak with Negan one on one in privacy when you disagree with him. In front of people you can earn nothing more than his anger. Regardless of who you are.

“Yeah, I get it. I get it.” Rick said, they will speak about this later. It wasn't done, but it was taken care of for the moment, and Rick knows when to pick his fights.

A broad smile and one word only confirmed this, “Good.” Negan turned to watch as ten mattresses were piled in strategic points on the pile before being doused with gasoline taken from one of the cars in Alexandria. Without any further hesitation, it was set on fire and an order to get out of here was given. Back in the vehicles they all climbed and back to the Sanctuary they were headed.

* * *

 

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	10. Chapter 10

Rick was right when the conversation was picked up later on after the supplies were unloaded and the people got a chance to buy what they wanted. Thankfully it was tucked away in their room. Rick spoke easily here, a silent rule of them being on the same level. Partners, lovers, spouses. They tried not to talk about work essentially but sometimes when the stress gets too high out there, here was the best place to unload it.

It went the same way with arguments. Rarely did they get to yelling matches, and if they did no one dared say a word about it. Rick doubted at this point anyone would bother them if they hear things breaking. Mostly in fear of the consequences because you don't go interrupting anything they were doing. Rick himself nearly put a bullet in someone's head for doing just that. Negan found it amusing but managed to curb Rick's trigger finger enough that the person walked away.

It was about the mattresses again. Both of them not budging in regards to the subject. They were stubborn that way. 

It wasn't until the heated discussion simmered down to silence that the heart of the matter was touched on.

“It's not about the fucking beds Rick. Doubtful it's about the little test our boy passed. It's about who lives there. Your ex. Your former best friend. It's about them.” Negan's words cut straight to the point, despite the quiet tone now held between them. There was something fierce and greedy burning just beneath the skin and barely restrained. Rick's instincts told him to be careful, despite everything, Rick wasn't above being burned by Negan's darker impulses.

Rick rubbed his face and avoided those eyes for a moment. Giving him a moment to get his mind in order before sitting down on the couch. Negan didn't follow but lingered closer, nearly standing over him.

Now that everything was temporarily dealt with, and the threat of having to deal with Alexandria and them on a regular basis was setting in. And it made Rick uncomfortable. 

“A bit.” Rick relented and admitted. How could he not, regardless of what he felt before they came face to face again and what he felt for them before he was shot and hospitalized all seemed to come rushing back. It turns out, Carl may have passed the test but Rick was dealing with the brunt of everything at such a deeper level, and it was unraveling at the moment. A small voice in Rick pleaded for Negan or anyone to take what's unraveling and put it back in its place. That was the past, those happy memories belonged there and safe. What happened after he woke up in the hospital and found them belongs in another past. All of it should stay there, and Rick should be free of it. Did he not deserve to be? Rick had a future here; Rick had a life. He had Negan and his son. He had a purpose and safety here.

Rick watched as a storm seemed to have been stirred in Negan and pushed to be unleashed, and Rick leaned back, putting his arms up on the back of the couch. Opening himself up and leaving himself vulnerable before Negan. Dangerous for most to do, especially given Negan's sudden mood shifts. But Rick did so anyway.

Seconds passed, and nothing came.

Until it did.

Rick found himself swept up in that storm, mouth claimed and a heavy weight in his lap pressing him down and restraining him in place. A hand on his throat and a hand on the back of his head forced Rick to meet Negan's eyes and leave himself bare. Rick didn't fight it. Reading what was said without words, Negan said a lot of things normally and being that he was an asshole not a lot of those things were kind and often left people jarred with the constant shifts and odd quips that flare up.

At times, it was the body language that spoke the truth and spoke the loudest even louder that clues are slipped out here and there. All carefully placed. 

You're mine. Those hands said.

 

 

Do I have to remind you, where you belong? The weight pushing down on him said.

Stay here, don't go back to your past. The message behind the volatile storm.

Rick was gifted the ability to read Negan; it took years it felt like to fully grasp the damaged and violent man. But he did, and ever since Negan saved Carl and saved Rick's sanity. He made it his mission to understand. Not everyone was strong enough to bare all of this, and the wives only had to be faced with some of this. But Rick, Rick could take it all. Not because he was stronger or weaker, or more capable. But because of how alike he was to Negan.

They both were damaged. Both Rick and Negan were both violent, and they both were like-minded.

And Rick was okay with that.

But today, being faced with his past. He needed something a bit more.

With gentle hands, Rick cupped Negan's face. A silent message of his own.

Remind me.

Keep me tethered here.

Let me lock them away so we could carry on.

Negan must have picked that up, his touch grew gentle but only long enough to shift positions and Rick was faced with that possessiveness doing just what Rick asked of Negan for the rest of the night.

The following day, Rick was sore, and he knows he'll be feeling it for a week, and it would smart every time he moved. Negan seemed pleased with him, calmer than he was the day before and Rick was okay with that. And just like yesterday didn't happen, life carried on. It was the Hilltop's day for pick up, and in two days a group will be down to the Kingdom for their weekly pick up.

Carl was in charge of the Kingdom, Simon was in charge of the Hilltop, and Rick wondered if he would be in charge of Alexandria?

Regardless, life carried on.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took so long for me to update this story. And sorry, it's short.


	11. Chapter 11

Rick could have shot Negan when he discovered who was in charge of Alexandria. And on his way to Alexandria, he was tempted to shoot him all over again. Knowing what he knew, Rick was hoping that the larger than life asshole would tone it down and send someone else. But of course, Rick knew better. Or should have. And so as it was, Rick was sitting in the passenger seat of the lead vehicle on his way to Alexandria.

Seeing the small community walls come into view, Rick frowned. Today will be interesting; there was no Negan and no Carl. It would just be Rick faced with this community and worse, faced with Shane and the rest of them. He knew they wouldn't be able to do anything. They were outgunned and outnumbered. The thought was still there but kept silent. Everyone who was with him knew how to be observant, and he trusted them to do their job.

Pulling to a stop, the gate remained closed.

Unacceptable.

But there was movement above, and Rick watched for a moment, unarmed from the look of things. So he climbed out of the car and approached the gate. Within seconds the gate slid open, and Shane greeted Rick.

“You going to open the gate or am I going to have to give an order I really don't want to give today?” Rick asked, his disapproval of the passive rebellion showing. Shane's frown increased, but the gate slid open on a silent command. Without needing to be told, Rick's Saviors spread out, and Rick followed Shane deeper into the community. From a distance, he could see Lori with the woman named Andrea. They seemed tense; it was understandable given the situation and who was there.

But something seemed off.

Not knowing what it was, Rick shook it off enough to function. Still, he found himself scrutinizing things a bit more carefully. Leaving Shane's side to give a command to one of his Saviors. Check the armory, look for any signs of weapons.

“Why are you doing this? I get that I fucked up, Rick but come on. What you're doing, you're robbing communities blind. How are we supposed to survive when we have people like you-you're husband – lover -boss taking from us.” Shane's voice was calm, pleading almost and it was clear he couldn't settle on some things. Rick helped him with that, informing that no he wasn't Negan's lover, he was the husband, but yes Negan was still the boss outside of their shared bedroom. Rick knew he probably shouldn't have said that much, not because of a potential threat but for the simple reason that it wasn't any of Shane's business.

“And we don't take everything, we leave enough for communities to survive with. And we wouldn't be doing this if you haven't made yourself noticeable to us. You brought this down on yourself.” Rick pointed out. He believed everything he said. They didn't take all of the food, left enough for people to eat. They even left some weapons so this community could defend itself from the dead and raiding communities that weren't the Sanctuary. They didn't even take much from the infirmary.

“Whatever you say man.” There was apparent disbelief in Shane's voice.

Rick frowned.

“You're making it sound like you're the victim here, do I have to remind you what you and a handful of your people did? Those were still people you guys killed, a whole lot of them. Each one of them having a friend or family. A life. And yet, you and your group killed them all. Yes on the road, it could be viewed as self-defense and could have been forgiven. But the ones sleeping, what threat were they to you? How were you defending yourself then? You killed what, 20 to 30 men. We killed less than a handful. And yet, you're casting us as the villain here while not facing facts of what you did, why we're doing what we're doing.” Rick found himself saying, and it was right. The consequences dished out were lenient in comparison to what they could have done if they wanted to repay the full debt. Of course, he knows that Shane won't see it this way.

And it was evident when they went back and forth, the argument passive and quiet.

Rick's instinct told him not to enter any house with Shane. Not alone. So he didn't. Made an excuse to stay out in the open and within view of his people.

And it was a good thing, a silent command was given, and Rick found himself having to duck for cover as gun shots rang out. Rick saw two Savior's go down, one shot in the neck and one in the forehead. Rick cursed and realized he lost sight of Shane. Regardless, he pulled his gun out and took out one of the Alexandrians shooting at a handful of his people.

They were under attack.

A hard knock to the back of his head knocked Rick to the ground, rolling to his back he had less than a moment to protect his soft stomach from the kicks that followed. Shane. Rick grabbed hold of his leg the next time he connected a kick and knocked Shane to the ground. Using the momentary confusion, Rick landed a couple of punches before a burning pain shot through his shoulder. He was shot.

Rick left Shane's side to duck for cover. The shooter was the woman Andrea.

Rick cursed angrily, shooting back at her. Connecting as hot to her leg. Rick couldn't do more because Shane was on his feet and standing between Rick and Andrea.

Rick didn't pull the trigger. Not at first, not until another Alexandrian came close. Armed and aiming for one of Rick's people. Shane took that moment to bring the fight to Rick.

This was going to be a long day.

And once more, the temptation to shoot Negan was there.

 

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	12. Chapter 12

Two houses have been set on fire since the fighting has started and Rick gave an order he wasn't entirely fond of. Knock part of the fence down. Make sure that this community would be dealing with the consequences for some time after this fight was done. Because there were consequences to every choice, he would have thought that Shane would have learned that by now. But evidently, he didn't learn it well enough.

The sound of gunshots became the norm as Saviors hunkered down, took over a good portion of the streets and a few buildings to take cover next to. But the people of Alexandria proved to be resilient enough that they didn't give much space after that. Rick covered for a few of his men so they could get out of the community and get to one of the vehicles outside. Give an order to take down one full side of the community wall.

Rick even where he was crouched could see the utter hatred in Shane's face and honestly, Rick could match that emotion inch for inch with what happened in the past and what was going on now.

“Tell your men to stand down! This doesn't have to get worse!” Rick called out, giving Shane an out. Not for the people of Alexandria but his own and the self-preservation of his men and supplies. Rick could see the look of utter contempt on Shane's face, a curl of his lips told him exactly what Shane thought of that idea. He didn't even need to voice his answer for Rick to know what it was.

“Like we would surrender to you, after what you and the rest of the Saviors have done! All this stealing, raiding and humiliation you dish out on us, and other communities must stop. Here and now!” Andrea yelled back for Shane. Not that she would need to, a curt and loud 'fuck you' was all Shane said. Rick sneered and felt his face twist in anger. Yes, the Savior's methods were harsh, but they were no harsher than what they needed to be in this world.

“Stop this Rick! Just stop it!” Lori yelled, and Rick shook his head.

He didn't know them anymore. He knew that before and today was all that he needed to bury them in his mind. Reloading his weapon he turned, aimed and fired. He hit a man, his name was Eric he believed. A husband, but no children from what Rick remembered. If he remembered correctly, he didn't do much in interacting with the people here. Didn't need to.

Hours could have passed, the gunshots slowed down, and more of the fence was torn down. The Alexandrians were pushed back to two houses and the church.

Rick held the most ground now. The community was all but won. Not that it would remain standing for long if today was any indication. The best bet would be for them to try and join another established community or go nomadic again.

He gave the option of surrender one more time.

And once more, he got a definite no.

Nobody budged, and he knew with how late it was getting, his absence would be getting attention back at the Sanctuary. Carl would be worried, that boy often forgot he was the son and not the parent. But it still filled him with a great sense of pride, how far his son has come and how caring he can be despite how horrible the world could be. Rick was glad that Carl wasn't with him today.

The sky was turning color as night started to draw closer.

“Shit. Negan's going to be pissed about this, bad enough shit's gone down like this.” A Savior complained as he aimed and fired. Moved too far out in the open and got shot in the head as retaliation. Rick cursed and cursed the man, he didn't know him, but he knows that there was a good chance he had friends and possible family back at the Sanctuary. Cursing again, Rick fired a few shots and nearly went pale as he saw something he thought they wouldn't be able to get their hands on again.

A rocket launcher.

“Oh fuck...” Rick cursed, gave an abrupt order of retreat. He didn't have to ask twice as they all but ran as quick as they could and as small as they could so they didn't get shot. Rick found himself thrown to the ground by the blast as the rocket hit the building they were using as their main stronghold in this part of the community. Ringing erupted in his ears as Rick fought to get to his feet.

“Fu-fuck.” Rick hissed as he barely got behind cover. He hated to admit it, but he may have to give the order to retreat. Go back, get more men and bigger weapons and come back tomorrow and finish what they started.

So that's what he did, and it burned him badly having to do so. Rick was the last to move, making sure his men got a head start. Rick fired as erratically as he could to make it look like there were more men than there was. When he was satisfied, Rick made a move to get back to the vehicles. And he was half way there when he was tackled from behind.

Shane.

The man couldn't let things go. Rick sunk his teeth into Shane's forearm, hard enough to taste blood and feel flesh come loose. It forced Shane to stop trying to catch him in a choke hold. Giving Rick time to get Shane off of him and get back to his feet, the ringing continued and kept his sense of balance not as sturdy as he would have preferred. The fight didn't get a chance to continue; Rick had a gun trained on Shane's head. Any move and he would fire. And given what happened tonight, his finger started to tighten around the trigger when a gunshot rang out. It's funny how that one he heard perfectly.

Especially when his stomach exploded in pain, causing Rick to nearly crumble where he stood as his free hand flew to the area where the pain radiated out from. Wet. He looked down long enough to realize it was blood. He was shot. Looking up Rick saw that it was Lori, her face was wet with tears. She hated what she did, but Rick could see she was trying to protect Shane. A part of him could respect her for that, but another part was so angry because where was that protective instinct for their son when he needed it?

Gunfire erupted from behind him, forcing Alexandrians to take cover as someone took hold of Rick pulling him out of sight and behind the cover of one of the vehicles. A shirt was pushed into his hand, and he used that to attempt to stop the bleeding as he climbed into the vehicle.

“Get us out of here, don't worry about watching the speed. We gotta get to the Sanctuary, and Negan has to know about this.” Rick gave the order, and it was followed without hesitation. It made him proud of the people he worked with; they always proved themselves to him no matter what they were doing. Rick let his head fall back against the seat as he closed his eyes and concentrated on keeping a firm hold of that shirt as he pressed it against his stomach.

The pain as unbelievable and Rick clenched his teeth in an attempt to control the pain.

He couldn't, and every bump or abrupt turn only made it hurt more.

The shirt was soaked by the time they came to a stop. They were home! Finally! They were home. Rick looked down and felt lightheaded at the amount of blood he saw. His pants were soaked and shiny with the amount of blood. There were shouts and people running around, and Rick could swear he heard Carl yelling for him, right next to him yet sounding like he was at the other end of a tunnel. It was the same for Negan who forced his way past everyone including Carl.

A hot hand was on his face, and he tried to smile, reassure Negan and his son that he was okay. Even though he knew he wasn't, in this age. This injury was something that could kill you even if you had a doctor present.

 

* * *

 

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think it will end?


	13. Chapter 13

Rick never dreamed that a day like today would come, he knew he should have expected it. Told his son once to prepare for the fact that everyone dies one day. Even the people you love. And here, today that very well might be him. And all Rick wanted to do was have more time and talk to his son. Hope that the doctor would be able to save him so he could have that time.

“Don't try to move, okay. Fuck. Fuck! Just, just let us do all the moving for you.” Negan sounding as worried and scared as he was, was wrong. Rick didn't like hearing him like that; it didn't fit Negan. Negan was a force of nature that could have even the strongest trembling in fear in no time. But hearing him like this made him so human and touchable. And it didn't fit. Rick wanted to get angry, provoke the man.

But couldn't because the pain was radiating from his stomach as blinding and there was little chance of him doing anything but trying to hide as much of that pain as he could. Especially when the sight of his son, wide eyed and scared was so easily seen.

“Where's the fucking doctor! A gurney! Whatever!” Negan's voice sounded like thunder. It was so loud, and Rick couldn't help but let out an amused sound because there he was. He could see the animated movement from Negan, something that comes before frightening stillness. Nobody should be around when Negan gets so angry that the world stops moving. Rick's only saw it once, only once. And he thanked all of his lucky stars that he was on the right side of that anger.

There was running and scrambling, but eventually, a man in a white coat appeared, the doctor with two people pushing a gurney with them. The doctor got there first, forgetting who Negan was and what the world was like. The man was in full doctor mode and immediately taking a look at Rick's injury and grimacing. As a doctor, Rick knows that the doctor would know how critical and how life threatening this injury was.

“We – we need to get him into surgery. Now.” That was all that he needed to say, getting out of the way for Negan to scoop Rick up. As gently as he could, Rick tried to hide the pain, but this time was unsuccessful as he hissed out in pain. His hands were clutching at his stomach and grimacing as he was laid flat on the gurney. Being flat was worse than sitting. Rick felt exposed and like his stomach was going to open further and spill his insides out.

They were moving, two saviors running the gurney as fast as they could as people nearly jumped out of the way as they went.

Rick was almost impressed with how fast they could move.

He was so cold now. He said as much. It was moments like this that he noticed that the doctor's assistants were armed. It wasn't for protection from the outside; it was in case a patient turned. It was now that the truth hit home and hard. One of these men could very well shoot him in the head.

“Where's Car-Carl. Where's Ne-Negan?” Rick asked as the gurney came to a stop.

“They're waiting on the outside, I'll get them before we go into-”

“You know I'm not going to survive t-this Doctor. Don't be stupid. I bled a lot from Alexandria to here. And it's not a half an hour drive. I lost too much blood to survive the surgery.” Rick said, he knows this to be true. Sometimes someone could be saved, from an injury like this. But Rick wasn't stupid. He knows he's done for.

The doctor said nothing. Confirming Rick's words and he wanted to cry. How stupid was he to have a slim sliver of hope when he was in the truck. But it was the truth of this new world. Shots to the stomach, front or back could kill you a lot quicker now than it did in the old world unless luck was by your side. But with what Rick was shot with, and with how much blood he knows he lost. Rick was a goner the moment Lori pulled the trigger. It was his ex-wife that ended his life; Rick remembered a time when he tried so hard to find her and his son, and when he did, everything was already so wrong.

“Bring me, my son and my husband.” His family. He didn't need to say the last part. The doctor nodded, grim and fear wracked his body. From where Rick was laying he could see Negan and Carl. The doctor didn't even finish as Carl pushed by him and was at his side instantly. Face wet with tears.

“Dad no. Let him try.”

“Bullet went right through, and I lost too much blood, with how much damage that has to be fixed, I won't make it out of surgery.” Rick said and watched as instant tears started to flow again, Rick cleaned them off as best that he could before pulling Carl down and kissing him on the forehead. Apologizing wordlessly, apologizing that he won't be there anymore.

“I was saved... When I... When I was shot.” Carl's voice was far from steady, and Rick remembered that how he became a Savior. How Negan became a part of Rick's life and his family. Saved his son. Saved him. Gave them a home. Rick smiled and kissed his forehead once more.

“I know you were, but the amount of blood I lost. Bullet went right through with me; it didn't for you. The bullet acted like a cork, bought you time. It didn't for me. I know I won't survive the surgery. I'm sorry Carl. I'm so sorry.” Rick explained and hated how it seemed to kill something in Carl. Hated that he was the one who did that. Rick wanted to plead with him, don't let yourself die in any way because of this. Not for Rick. Not for him.

But instead, he could only convey his love for his son.

“I love you, Carl. Don't you ever forget that, the best day of my life was when I found you again.” It was the truth; Rick owed his son that much. Finding his son was like a light was turned on for him again. 

“Love you too... Dad.”

Rick pushed Carl away, not out of cruelty but because he wanted to see Negan. Talk to him. But couldn't say a word. Instead, he felt lips connect with his. The desperation found in that kiss seemed to say more things than words could ever say. But Rick tried anyway.

“N-”

“Shut the fuck up you fucking bastard. Just- just shut the fuck up. I know already okay. I fucking know.” Negan's voice wasn't steady, and Rick hated how this probably brought back so much pain for the man as it was. He wished he could have spared him, both him and Carl. Had the truck stop before they got back. Write a letter and put a gun to his head and end it then and there rather than put them through this.

Perhaps he could have let the doctor try, but then that would steal the chance to speak to them again. To be himself with them for one last moment. And Rick was selfish as it was. He knew already he wouldn't have made it off the surgery table anyway. The bullet as he said, went right through and given the look on the doctor's face, it wasn't a clean shot like it was for Carl back when they first came through those gates. Rick's was messier. More blood lost.

He was dead the moment he was shot.

And now, now Rick could barely stay awake.

“I'll burn those fucks down. Every single one of 'em. I fucking swear it okay. Okay, Rick.” Rick heard Negan promise. It's funny; Rick can't help but think that this is the first time he's ever seen tears coming from Negan. Rick hated it.

“Rick?”

“Dad?”

“Dad!”

Rick can't stay awake anymore; he was too tired. There was so much he wanted to say. So much. But he couldn't as everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

 

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